SCTR. GERRY IN A NUT SHELL

August 2018

The playful boy

I love space; I love the wind; I love heights----I feel free.

I can climb trees; I can swim rivers; I can leap; I can bounce-----I am determined.

I didn’t get hungry; I didn’t get tired; nothing frustrates me then. Life for me was easy.

Then I began to interact with others, in an organization offered at school.  Organization that builds character, teaches leadership and skills for self-reliance.  I surrendered myself and later became one of the organization’s exemplary reaps.  It was very enriching.

Discerning leader

Thereafter when merits and awards have been exhaustedly endowed on me, there’s no other way but to move on to the next level. The once playful boy needs to become a discerning leader in a new game field.  Confident I was, I welcomed my new role with enthusiasm and optimism. While getting ready for serious plays, I equipped myself more while crossing bridges.  On different lands I get acquainted with other leaders and wished to become constantly eligible of the organization’s evolution.

Being a volunteer

However, my role as a Leader is a predisposition. Being classified as a volunteer leader, I can opt to get busy on my role, exploring on the cultivation of programs’ practices.  And within boundaries, subject to affirmation and appreciation of colleagues, I can introduce innovative activities relative to the changing times.  Or I can chose to be sedentary providing ceremonial role as a leader and brag contrived stories to provide phony inspiration for the youth whenever given opportunities. Lastly, the option to force a way in getting more citations by undue influences to decorate a uniform with numerous commendations is very much conceivable too.  Noble and Upright as I perceived my uniform to be as comparable to my continuous struggle for righteousness, never did I thought of choosing the last preference.  For many years I unwearyingly chose to be dynamic and vigorous to offer things other than the customary despite recognitions from my peers.  For 17 long years, I liberally prepared propositions hoping that my colleagues realize my vision and labors.

Struggled romanticism

In a workplace where apathy is a popular choice by mentors rather than getting our youth into the ideal path of molding them.  Where the practice of either haste or waste has always been the exercise of the ruling classes.  In a game field where self-convenience is being endured by most of its players attending only what is favorable to nourish them and their self-professed projected image. Apparently, it has become so prevalent that it turned out to be a culture.  And one heroic act to alter such culture seemed impossible to attain.

But I persisted. I continue to be firm and aggressive insisting on the indispensable, of what is ideal and moral, undaunted on my colleagues’ insignificance that most of them never bother to care what I have been telling them.   

Proof of relevance 

6 years ago, out of frustrations, I formed a group outside the organization where I stated the same visions I long wished to impart. The group is made up of strangers from all walks of life. Diverse and with no age boundaries, without preference on aptitude, life status and creed I presented a proposition and a selfless dream that needs to be achieved.  And upon presenting, it freehandedly gained appreciation.  It became so popular that most people from local area and even outsiders believed and supported it.  It became an advocacy group too that the local government recognized its worthy existence.  By virtue of a local resolution, included the group as part of a community building body providing concepts on environment and tourism causes.  

Numerous times we had been and still being invited by the academe to lead and demonstrate our proficiency and helped out deliver a commendable cause. Realizing then that these same institutions were for the longest time my prior organization’s partner where we supposedly have to bring ideal programs for the youth.  Only to find out fatefully, these institutions are craving for help that no partner organizations have yet to serve them very well.    

Keep on or move away

It was quite a relief that various achievements made by my group proved that my point which I brought about to my prior organization was sensible.  My lucid thoughts now:

“Will I continue to insist to my peers that I am bringing up sensible ideas and indispensible conversion?  Or be apathetic, insensitive to the real aspiration of the organization to its youth?  A sedentary leader unresponsive to the youth’s critical needs and the organization’s real purpose?  Or so sadly end this distress with finality, better yet leave and free yourself from this persecution?”  

In the end, the choice is all mine.  It is my prerogative from the very start after all.

Contemplation

Patience is a remarkable virtue. Leaving is like conceding from life’s burden.  I am resilient, a survivor, a warrior always bound to succeed.  Why should I be waving a flag of defeat? 

In a way I felt liberated by the truthful acts that I sometimes deliberately displayed or an expression like this writing that I am free to dispose of.  But victory is never gained since no one truly listens or recites or exercises and actually understands. In a way you became a refugee of your own wisdom or an outcast in your own league.   

However, thinking that patience is a great virtue that I also wish to adhere, I have second thoughts of finally getting out of the organization.  I need to go on. I only need time and relevant people to help out. For now, I must accept finite disappointment, but never should I lose infinite hope.